I notice so many people online praying that the Lord will put them with just the right mate. I believe it is good that we go where God will send us. This may or may not pertain to those people. This is about finding oneself caught in unhealthy relationships. This is a little HORROR story that God graced with His Love to rescue His child. This is a story that reveals the mystery of why love fails. Maybe this story is for you… Since the better part of this story deals with addiction I will give you a 12 step principle here: Fair enough?
Singing My Life with Her Words
by Ms. Meaningless
While reading a story titled “The Dopeman Got My Wedding Ring” I could almost hear Roberta Flack moan the words, “Singing My Life”.
You see this week I received a beautiful greeting card from the man who sold my bling to the dopeman. It came with many apologies and regrets of the things he’d done in the past that had cut me to the core.
I almost resented the implications of the greeting card. The words that I once loved to hear seemed hollow and without weight. Possibly he wished he could put me on the pedestal of his heart. He may even desire to see his promise of undying love come to pass; but I realized long ago that he’d chosen heroin and now heroin has him.
Back when we were setting wedding dates and planning living arrangements. (His place or mine) I knew I was mistreating myself by hoping that he would be faithful to rehab, 12 step groups and me. Selfishly he continued in his addiction and little by little I watched his world dissolve around him. It was bizarre to go visit him and observe the TV, stereo, telephone, computer or his personal jewelry missing and know that they’d been pawned for drugs without my ever inquiring. Actually questions were never necessary because consistently he was overly willing to explain away the obvious.
He’d put his mistress the diva of death, Lady Heroin before me so many times in the past and she is still today the love of his life. He stole my gold, he emptied the contents of my wallet and he secreted away my engagement rings in his pocket. He took them and laid them at her feet for the short lived passion that she gives stingily; until like a waiting whore she is paid again for more. I sadly resigned to
the fact that I deserved better and left what seemed like forever re-living the same horrid day.
The only thing that has ever been true and real in helping me through life’s struggles is that Love that the Lord gives. With gladness and a fresh outlook, I returned to my First Love’s ever opened arms and let Him fill the voids. Without looking back, I let the Giver of Life and the Lover of my soul, heal my mind, make whole my broken heart and restore my esteem.
My question to Him was, “Why if love never fails, it so often fails us?”
He whispered to my heart these unforgettable words which I try hard to remember and live by to this very day:
“Mankind is not perfect and therefore your love can turn to rage, jealousy, selfishness, envy or violence. The Love that I give is perfect; therefore in all relationships, let My Love be the measure of Love that you give one to another.”
I was engaged to the dopeman, but I never went through with the marriage, I chose Life and that more abundant.